i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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