you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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