If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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