that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
