Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
