birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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