We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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