I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
