You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
