i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
