I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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