i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
