the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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