It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
