If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
