Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
