Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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