so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
