My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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