i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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