I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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