woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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