Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
