All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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