She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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