Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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