; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
