the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
