he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
