break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i dont even know how to be here
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
