he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
