I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
