Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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