I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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