go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
