gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
