He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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