So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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