im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
its not stalking. its research.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
