1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
