hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
