I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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