Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
