can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
