Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
