We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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