pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
