it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My ass is underappreciated
Is Oprah even human
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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