loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You were trust falling into bushes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
