i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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