it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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