I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
