Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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