Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
