We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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